By Kristina Eventov
When you’re in your 20s there’s a lot of pressure to be living life a certain way and being on track to achieve particular goals. As we’re all aware, there’s a spotlight put on the younger generation that creates an immense sense of pressure to be constantly thriving and paving the way for success. While it’s all well and good to have these long-term goals, it’s important to consider the smaller things in life that help to foster a positive environment and mindset. I’ve compiled a list of a few mentalities, though somewhat cheesy, which will help you live your #bestlife.
1. You Do You
Not to be dramatic, but there is nothing worse than constantly living as though you have to meet someone else’s expectations or act a certain way. It is so much more fun, and just generally nicer, to be yourself and embrace your passions and quirks and do what makes you happy. If you see someone successful it can be incredibly easy to think you have to mould yourself into a clone of them in order to have any chance of achieving the same goals. Now, while fake it till you make it may be true in some cases, you can’t live your life pretending to be someone else. Do what truly makes you happy and live the way you want to. (Unless that involves being a being a violent criminal, exploiting others and stealing…you get my point) In the end, what will make you stand out is the “something different” that only you can bring. Obviously, this can be hard at times. It’s so easy to want to remain another face in the crowd and not do anything different for fear of standing out but someone has to set those trends, so why not you?
2. Who Actually Cares?
Maybe you’re feeling self-conscious about a certain outfit, or you’re not sure whether you should post that photo on Instagram. I don’t want to invalidate your choices and make you feel insignificant, but it’s honestly not that deep. If you feel comfortable and happy in something, then that will give off a much stronger impression than anything your outfit itself could. When it comes to posting content, people will scroll past and forget about it far too quickly for it to have any lasting (negative) impression. Besides, it’s your page and you should post whatever you want your account to represent – the unfollow button is right there for anyone who wishes to use it. Almost all of these little things you do will play a much more all-encompassing and significant part in your own life than in anyone else’s. Just remember that everyone is dealing with their own stuff and won’t be overanalysing your actions as much as you might think (if at all).
3. Snip Snip
I am such a massive advocate of “snip snipping”. There is so much stress in our everyday lives that you should have no business hanging around people who don’t enrich your daily life. If someone is being constantly negative or making you feel bad about yourself when you are with them, I have some great advice – don’t listen to them! Of course, you shouldn’t just start ignoring people and being rude, but make a conscious effort to surround yourself with people who you enjoy spending time with. Until you really consider it, you may not even notice the negative impact someone may be having on you. As easy as it can be to make excuses or justify their behaviour, you are the most important person in your life, and you can’t be waiting around all day hoping that someone will change. You need people who constantly inspire and motivate you to be the absolute best version of yourself that you can be.
SIDENOTE: It can be hard if your friend is struggling with a mental health issue that makes them prone to negative thinking, but make sure you tackle the issue with sensitivity and remember that you are not there to be their therapist, nor do you have to share their mindset. Though you should always aim to be a supportive friend, it’s not healthy for anyone involved if this starts taking a toll on your own mental health too.
4. Just Do It
It’s cliché, but it’s true. It’s much better to have lived a life full of “oh well, there we go” than “what if”. If you want to do something, then you should absolutely do it. It can be so easy to second guess yourself and question whether you should do something you want to. By regularly stepping out of your comfort zone you are constantly expanding it and allowing yourself to grow. Of course, it never seems so simple, but with spontaneity comes limited time for overthinking. Not to be crass, but the best thing you can say to yourself is just “fuck it”.
5. Judging Someone Doesn’t Make You Cool
With the increasing prominence of social media, everyone is much more hyperaware of themselves and what people think of them. Don’t add fuel to the fire by (outwardly) judging someone and criticising them for their choices. If you want to be able to live your life the way you want, give others the same courtesy. Though knocking somebody else down may seem like a sure-fire way to feel better about yourself, you will feel so much happier when you bring someone up. When you compliment someone else and build them up, you foster that positivity within yourself. Unless a person’s actions are inherently wrong or having a negative effect on someone, it is not up to you to condemn or comment.
At their core, these ideas are pretty basic but sometimes it helps to be reminded of little ways in which you can reinforce a positive approach to the little things in life that all contribute to the greater picture. Essentially, despite the era of likes and follower counts that we live in, make sure you are living life for yourself and not for the validation or approval of others. You’ll never be able to please everyone and trying to is a futile exercise that will only leave you feeling miserable. These things are always easier said than done, but every little helps.