By Kristina Eventov
It seems like, at this point, everyone and their dog has a self-help book with their life-changing ways on how to make your terrible life just as amazingly perfect as theirs! Reading a 300-page book on how to live “mindfully” is all well and good until you feel like you’ve failed because you haven’t been “cured” by the time you reach the last page. As much as I would love to divulge some revolutionary insight on how to turn your life around, I can’t. All I can offer is some small advice on how to make tough days seem that little bit lighter and easier to handle.
1. Go Through the Motions
No matter how bad you are feeling, it is the little things that feel like the biggest victories. When it seems like everything around you is falling apart, take control of what you can. A bad mental health day may leave you feeling like you don’t want get out of bed at all, but, you’ll have to get up and pee eventually. So, take that moment to also brush your teeth, or make yourself a cup of tea on the way, maybe even shower if you’re feeling particularly adventurous! Each small step like this allows you to feel at least a small sense of success, and puts you back on the right track.
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Feel
If you feel like your emotions are getting overwhelming, don’t bottle them up As the wise ogre, Shrek, once said “better out than in”! No matter how long you try and keep your thoughts and feelings in, you will have to let them out eventually. Even just having a cry and physically experiencing your emotions can be incredibly cathartic. By allowing yourself to do this you can be more present in what you are feeling, and begin to process your thoughts.
3. Indulge in Your Guilty Pleasures
Now, I don’t mean eat a tub of Ben and Jerry’s every single day (though this may seem like a good idea initially), I mean something more meaningful to you personally. If you are feeling particularly down, it can feel as though you don’t enjoy any of the same things anymore. Prove yourself wrong and do something that will inevitably make you smile. Rather than just wallowing in self-pity, use that time to also watch an old movie that never fails to make you laugh. Talk about two birds with one stone, eh? For me, this might mean singing along (at a great volume) to one of my favourite soundtracks, or watching one of my favourite Friends episodes for the 24317614th time. It is these little familiarities that can help you feel more settled and at ease.
4. Express Yourself, Vocally (third party person not required)
Some people feel comfortable talking to a friend or relative about whatever it is they are going through. If this is you, amazing! Find someone you can confide in, and let them know what it is you are feeling. Don’t worry about feeling like a burden — a friend cares about you and wants you to feel okay. After all, they might even be able to offer some useful insight from personal experience. Alternatively, have a conversation with yourself. By trying to articulate your thoughts and feelings, you can better understand yourself and what exactly it is that you are trying to process. Even the simple act of saying it out loud (or at least trying to) can help you acknowledge the validity of your emotions, and hopefully rationalise them.
5. Go Ahead and Declutter
For many (including me), tidying is the absolute last thing on my to do list, let alone when I’m feeling sluggish (be that mentally or physically). Nevertheless, once I have somehow managed to convince myself to clean my room, I feel infinitely better. Sometimes it can feel like your messy surroundings are mirroring your cluttered thoughts, which can become an incredibly overwhelming feeling. By clearing the physical space around you, you can then allow yourself to think more clearly. I don’t know how, or why, but I promise you that a tidy room will help you feel that much more put together and on top of everything. And just think of how proud your parents would be…
At the end of the day, your mental health should be your top priority. If everyday feels like a struggle or you’ve been feeling down for a while now maybe its time to seek professional help (unfortunately this post does not count 😦 ). Consider contacting your doctor, a counsellor at your school or university, or reach out to a mental health charity like Mind. Let’s make actual, not just indulgent, self-care the #mood for 2019.